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Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Today Was Better....

Ugh!  I had almost an entire post typed and IE crashed on me!!!  I hate when that happens.  I’m typing this one in word so it doesn’t happen again.  I also won’t have that many typos (wink wink).

I hate to be a whiny blogger, but I can’t go against the way I feel.  I probably won’t do any pictorials until next week.  This blog is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.

I’m slowing making progress on my stress and anxiety.  When I left work today I felt just awful.  I haven’t been off more than two weeks since the birth of my son over 16 years ago.  I had Kirk Franklin’s “My Life Is in Your Hands” on my mp3 player and it had me crying buckets.  I decided to do what I needed to do and that’s get myself ready.  

I went to TJ Maxx to get some white sheets because my friend said I needed some when I came home from the hospital.  I forgot the reason why, but I went and got them anyway because I didn’t want to hear her darn mouth if something happened, she would have blamed it on the fact I didn’t get new white sheets.  I found some 550tc Egyptian Cotton ones, I decided not to stop there I decided to go heavenly as in Westin heavenly!!!  If you haven’t slept in a Westin Heavenly bed then you haven’t really slept!!!  I got myself the matching white comforter and a really spiffy mattress pad.  My mattress and pillows are already very comfortable so I can’t wait to sleep in it.  I’ve purchased a few more items and now I have everything I need.

I still have a long list of things I need to do including taking my weave out and getting my hair braided.  I feel so overwhelmed and alone, but I’ll make it.  I just want to thank everyone for their support, comments, and prayers.  It means so much to me.  I just can’t wait for it to be over.

I sorta feel like a person in jail.  You know when folks are in jail they are all remorseful and remorseful and then once they get out they are the same old hellish person.  I really don’t want to be that person.  I want to take better care of myself physically and mentally.  Although I didn’t do anything to cause the problem I’m having now, I know that if I don’t I will have some self inflicted issues.  I plan on cutting back on a lot of these and changing a lot of ways, I just hope it isn’t the prisoner in me talking……….

Posted by Shawn :: 10:31 PM :: 6 Hollered

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