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Sunday, April 30, 2006

On Hiatus

Hey Err'body,

I'll be on hiatus for the next two weeks. I'm so busy right now and I don't have time to blog. Between work, getting ready for my trip to Aruba this week, and trying to get my kids settled for the summer I'm pooped. Once I come back from vacation I'll be thrown right into the most important weekend of the year at work so I plan on having a good time while on vacation.

Check out my some of my fellow bloggers on my blogroll. They're the bomb.

Y'all be safe and I'll holla!

Posted by Shawn :: 11:12 PM :: 12 Hollered

Holla At Yo Girl!


Saturday, April 22, 2006

What It Be Like?

It seems like my life is getting busier and busier! I just got back from a business trip last night. I've been traveling every other week lately. The good news it that the next time I get on a plane it will be for my personal pleasure! That's right folks, in 12 days I will be in a tropical paradise called Aruba for one week. Originally we were suppose to go from Saturday to Saturday, but because of work *boo hiss* , we had to change our plans to Thursday to Thursday. We'll have two days alone, just the husband and I. We'll spend the other five days with my in-laws.

A big congratulations goes out to my husband who just got a promoted to a very important and *top secret* position at work. He's very deserving of it. He's is the best IT person I know. I'm so pround of him.

Pray for me y'all. The daughter returns home from college next week for the summer. You know how "kids" think they're grown once they leave hom and come back. I know she's going to read this and let me say this again "you're not an adult unless you can support yourself 110%" comprende? But really she an awesome daughter, just a little too much like her mother! The girl has all my attitude and whit. Sometimes it like me against me.

I do want to congratulate her on successfully completing her freshman year at the University of Michigan. She did great and I'm very proud of her.

All my friends are going to see Kells tonight in concert. Although he puts on a hell of a show, NO THANKS. He can't get a dime out of me. My little protest didn't matter though, his concert sold out here. My favorite band of all New Edition will be here while I'm in Aruba! That concert sold out as well. I think Detroiters are tired of being cooped up in the house all winter.

I have zero plans for the weekend. I'm going to clean my house, do some laundry, and if I have the time/energy left over I'm going to do some yard work. I don't want to do to much out there yet because we're getting a new roof and gutters and I don't want the workers trampling my stuff!

This is all I have for today. I'm keeping it light.

Posted by Shawn :: 10:54 AM :: 11 Hollered

Holla At Yo Girl!


Sunday, April 16, 2006

Subject Ho-ology 101

Subject: Ho-ology 101.

(My Country Cuzin, Tecc Money sent this to me. Enjoy and pass it on.)

11. "The Undercover Ho" - This type of ho often goes unnoticed in the community, and can only be detected by a trained eye. She holds down a decent job during the day, but is secretly hoeing around with at least 5 different trifling men. Two of these men are married, and at least one of these men is dating her best friend.

10. "The Church Ho" - Her hair and nails is always done. This ho is in church every Sunday and carries a Bible with her at all times, but spends Tuesday through Saturday night of every week in a different club. She is sometimes mistaken for the Undercover Ho.

9. "High Class Ho" - (also known as the! "Glamour Ho") - This type of ho rocks Prada and Versace, and only dates players, ballers, and hot callers. She is most often the cause of some fight in a club ( i.e. Source Awards). She tries to act like she's got class but confuses regular English with Ebonics. She also has trouble with simple arithmetic.

8. "Old Ho" - The OLE Ho used to be tight "in her day," and thinks she still looks good for her age." She tries to wear all of the Soul Train fashions, thinking that she will blend in with the rest of the hunnies.
You can find her at any club on any given night, grinding on the dance floor during any song, with any man, of any age.

7. "Nasty Ho" - This ho has not exactly been blessed in the looks department, but is usually very popular with the men for her other talents. Most often, she has a "tight" body and be found working in a strip club.

6. "Sneaky Ho" - The sneaky ho cannot be trusted in anyone's home or with anyone's man! Money and other personal items "turn up missing" not long after she's gone. She is always "dipped" and can never remember where she's purchased the coveted item of clothing. The Sneaky Ho aspires to be Undercover Ho but has already made too many enemies by stealing.

5. "Bourgeois Ho" - This type of ho is educated and professional woman with many credits to her name, she dresses well and has a sophisticated circle of friends. These women are perfect, however these Ho's have multiple partners and sleep with married men like "Undercover Ho," perpetrate on Sunday like "Church Ho," get played by men just like "Stupid Ho," obsessed with name brands and status like "High Class Ho," and best of all...Bourgeois Ho looks down on all the other Ho's.

4. "Project Ho" - This Ho is living ghetto fabulous, squeezing money and trinkets out of her drug dealing "babies daddies." She likes to fight, and you will most often hear her before you see her.

3. "Stupid Ho" - ! ; She is usually very cute. The Stupid Ho keeps a string of men who constantly come over after midnight for booty calls. They often return to eat her food, watch her cable, and borrow her car and/or money. She complains about them to her friends ( i.e., Sneaky Ho and Project Ho) but never does anything about it.

2. "Crazy Ho" - This is a popular ho. Although she is very smart, the Crazy Ho is virtually an upgrade from the Stupid Ho. She has the same terrible luck with men, but unlike the Stupid Ho, she seeks revenge. Her areas of expertise include slashing tires, keying cars, making prank calls from unlisted numbers, visiting the trifling man (or other Ho's) jobs, and appearing on Judge Mathis for any of the aforementioned activities.

And Finally!!

1. "The Stank Ho" - > This is perhaps the most popular Ho of them all. She Stank Ho has appeared on shows such as Ricky Lake, Jerry Springer and Jenny Jones. She has eluded herself into believing that she is beautiful, ad she sleeps with everyone to justify it. Her choice of wardrobe most often includes spandex (of every color), bra tops, > and stripper shoes. She has a permanent "unwashed" look about her that cannot be removed with any amount of water or soap.

Posted by Shawn :: 11:20 PM :: 10 Hollered

Holla At Yo Girl!


Thursday, April 13, 2006

Random Thought In My Head

When will Hoopz 15 minutes of fame be up? She has to be on at least minute 14. I know how those "Z" list celebrities like to google themselves to see what people are saying about them, so Hoopz if you're reading this *POOF BE GONE BYTCH!* and take the rest of those nasty bytches with you. You kissed Flav nasty mush mouth looking azz, so you get no respect.

Is "Love Inc." and "Cutz" sucks azz. Those shows are second only to Homeboys in Outer Space for awful Black sitcoms. Holly Robinson-Peete can not act. My five year old niece can read a script better than her! (Damn I'm a bitter bytch tonight...LOL)

Grillz are disgusting. I don't care how man diamonds are in them.

I know satin isn't in right now, but damn I love that fabric! Fawk everyone who laughs at me when I rock my satin shirts.

Why is it that muthasuckas up under you always think they can do it better than you. Bytch if you could you would be where I'm at, so get in line!

Can someone explain what the hell in "Immigrant Rights" when it pertains to illegal aliens? You're fawkin illegal, you have no rights in this country. Your rights are south of the border. Also stop comparing your struggle to that of Blacks, it's no comparison. NAACP, shut the fawk up on this issue and tend to your own fawked up house.

Why isn't there major protest about the cost of gas? Exxon is now the richest company in the world, surpassing Walmart.

When did creases in your pants go out of style and why didn't anyone tell me?

Proof died a very dishonerable death. I don't feel sorry for him. He was trying to take a life and got his own snatched. I feel sorry for him children, knowing that their father died trying to kill a man. I feel sorry for his mother and even his friends. The man who killed him did so defending the life of his family and I hope he will not be charged because there is not one of us that wouldn't have done the same thing. I hope they don't make a hero out of him because he aint one.

Mary J. Blige irks the hell out of me. Go away Mary! Why is she digging up former drama with K-Ci? No one cares Mary.

My husband is an awesome back scratcher!

Why do most southern rappers look like they stank?

I was going to add pictures, but I don't feel like it.

Posted by Shawn :: 10:36 PM :: 7 Hollered

Holla At Yo Girl!


Monday, April 10, 2006

Nigga Puh-leeze!

I had sworn off use of the "N" word. I said that it was an awful word intertwined with my ancestors blood, sweat, dreams and tears. It was a word that was banned in my house growing up and would get you slapped in the mouth so hard if you slipped up and said it. Since I swore off using it at the beginning of this year, I had a few slips of the tongue. I've called my son a "lazy niglet" or two (don't worry, he won't need psychological counseling, he actually thinks it's hilarious when I say it and I have to give him a straight ignant cussing out, I'm sure he can testify) and I've used it a couple of times when talking shyt with the girls, but each time I've regretted it afterwards. Well, I used it this weekend and I didn't regret it. I even curled my lips and squinted my eyes like Samuel L. Jackson when I said. Here's how it when down:

My brother (my oldest brother is a full-time recovering crack addict) calls me and tells me he needs some shoes Saturday. I'm on his side of town, so I tell him when I get done doing what I'm doing I'll take him to Payless and pick him up a pair. He then states, "I don't want a cheap azz pair of shoes" . First I think to myself where did he get this attitude from, since I've taken his azz there many times to buy shoes before. I try to pacify him and I remind him that they carry the Shaq brand there. He states gain that he doesn't want the "cheap shoes". So I tell him that two weeks ago I took his son there and purchased him a pair and a pair of casual shoes to wear to his uncle funeral. My brother's response was "He's being forced to wear them, he doesn't have a choice. Why are you always buying us cheap shoes and your son goes to Foot Locker". That's when I gave him a big azz NIGGA PUH-LEEZE and hung up on him. He called meand tried to apologize, but too freakin late. I had made up in my mind I wasn't buying him SHYT. How in the hell are you going to compalin about somebody buying you something when they don't have to do shyt and how the hell are you going to complain about what I do for your child if you don't do shyt for him. I had about 15 nieces and nephews, more of them than not need something from me at any given time. I'm always buying shoes, coats, boats, clothes, etc for kids that aren't mine. I can't do for them on the same level that I do for mine. I'd be broke. One of my nieces is one step from foster care and another one of my brothers don't want me to spend time with her now unless I take ALL three of his daughters (all by different mothers). I refused, needless to say I haven't seen my niece in a year. I refuse to let their trifling azz dictate to me, but that a whole other NIGGA PUH-LEEZE subject.

Posted by Shawn :: 7:23 PM :: 15 Hollered

Holla At Yo Girl!


Wednesday, April 05, 2006

The Open Toe Shoe Pledge

(No, I didn't write this, but I agree 110%!, Feel free to pass it along)

Alright Ladies, it's that time of the year again. Just a friendly reminder!! Please raise your big toes and repeat after me: (The Open Toed Shoe Pledge)...

As a member of the Hot Girl Sisterhood, (I did add this in) I pledge to follow the Rules when I wear sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow. I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

If I have been privy to the magic that is Foot Soup, I will share that knowledge and experience with the non-initiated.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go my local beauty school or Asian shop at least five times per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $10 and worth EVERY penny).

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear...nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals... Don't keep this to yourself - pass it on to other sisters.

Posted by Shawn :: 11:04 AM :: 11 Hollered

Holla At Yo Girl!


Monday, April 03, 2006

I'm Toni?

You scored as Toni. Woohu!! Youre a Toni. Damn grl you could shop all day long and still not be tired! Sometimes you go for the guys that can offer you things instead of going for the guys that you really care about and offer their heart out most to you. Nevertheless, youre still a great friend and would do anything for your girlfriends. You go grl!!









Which girlfriend are you?(from the hit tv show girlfriends)
created with

Posted by Shawn :: 11:05 PM :: 9 Hollered

Holla At Yo Girl!