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Monday, June 26, 2006

A Little Laugh For You

I came across this picture while surfing. It's supposed to be Game during his stripper days. It might be photoshopped, then again it might not be, but lawd I hope it is. Maybe that tiny bump in his G-string explains his shitty disposition.

Posted by Shawn :: 10:46 PM :: 7 Hollered

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Sunday, June 18, 2006

Happy Father's Day Dad

Today is father's day and I will spend it like I do any other Sunday. There will be visits to the cemetary like I do on Mother's Day with a dinner following prepared by my sister and I like we do on Mother's Day. My Dad, Lenny, passed away in August 2002 and I have yet to allow myself to mourn his passing. My mother's death in 1999 has such a violatile affect on me, I refused to go down that road again or is that just my reasoning?

Growing up my father was never a big influence on my life. I was raised by maternal grandparents and my parents had split when I was four. I wouldn't call him a dead beat dad because my grandparents asked nothing of him and neither did my mother. I saw him growing up frequently and we spoke on the phone a lot as I can recall. I also spent every summer with him mother in country. I actually can only really remember my father hitting me once with a belt because I didn't want to go with him and I can remember my grandfather threatening death on him if he ever hit me again. I'd come to understand later that my father physically abused my older brother, sister, and mother. I thank GOD that I never had to deal with that.

Later when I was in my early teens and my grandfather dead a few years, my grandmother sick, and my mother doing her thing, I needed my father and he wasn't there. I went to live with him for the summer (I was more like a babysitter for my younger half brothers) and he betrayed me like no father should ever betray his daughter. I won't speak of what happened because I'm not ready to share that with the world, but I will say that HE didn't molest or beat me. Something castastrophic happened to me and he turned his back and told the world I was lying. I don't know if I can really blame him for his behavior, this was in the middle of the crack epidemic and he was as turned out as one can get. I was a 14 year old girl in the world pretty much alone.

I didn't talk to my father for 3 years after leaving him and my stepmother. We started talking again after I gave birth to my daughter. My father was a changed man. He had gotten clean, went to school and got a degree in Substance Abuse, became a deacon at his church, and got a high ranking job at a local company. It was not easy for me to accept him back into my life and we had many arguments about how he hurt me. I spent the next 18 years trying to punish him for not being there for me. Whenever he didn't do what I wanted him to do, I'd be quick to throw it in his face to make him do it. Don't get me wrong, I loved my father, but I never forgave him. We were able to have many good times in the last 18 years and I have many fond memories, but I never forgave him in my heart. My kids love him dearly and to him he's the perfect grandfather, they are going to be confused and full of questions that I might not be ready to answer for them. This is the first time I'm admitting that I haven't forgiven him. I forgave my mother for all her shortcomings, but not him. It doesn't really matter much I guess since he gone now...........

Posted by Shawn :: 6:30 PM :: 11 Hollered

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Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Proud Mama Time

My boy did pretty good in the state finals. He came in 10th overall in the 100M. His team came in second in the 4x1 and third in the 4x2. His school came in 5th overall. He's a great athlete and I'm looking forward to football season. He has one more year to go and I'm sure he'll be number one. Check out some pictures from the meet below:

Y'all know he caught the white boy, y'all know we can't let them beat us sprinting.....LOL. Now if it was cross country, that would be a different story.....

I didn't know my boy was so muscular.

Posted by Shawn :: 10:16 PM :: 5 Hollered

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