Tuesday, July 24, 2007

I’m a happy go lucky life of the party most of the time, but I irritate easily. Here’s some things that make me want to snatch someone by the throat and squeeze every last drop of life giving oxygen out of them.

1. TARDINESS! I know that I’m not the picture of punctuality, but damn can you make it to an event within two hours of it starting? We had a baby shower for my niece on Saturday, it started at 4:00pm. Why was there still people coming at 7:30? My family is actually on punishment from having events at my house because of their extreme tardiness, but I love my niece and I did it for her.

2. LIARS! I have the gift to know when someone is lying to me. I get tired of calling people out on their lies because it just spawns more lies. Some people lie to kick it, if we’re cool, you don’t have to lie to me. I know it’s impossible to tell the truth 100% of the time for various reasons, but damn……

3. CHEAP PEOPLE! Don’t bring your cheap ass to an event where a gift is expected talking about “I left the card at home” “I didn’t know what they wanted” blah blah blah. Stay your cheap azz at home if you can’t bring a gift. No one really want to see you without one……just being real. Another thing about cheap people that irritates me, why won’t they buy their own damn food! They’ll claim they’re not hungry, but eat all your shyt. This brings me to…..

4. MAKING A PLATE TO TAKE HOME!!!!!! STOP IT PEOPLE! It’s not cool at all. If the event that you’re attending is not over and the host has not told you to it is ok to take a plate home, but down the damn foil and paper plates. You don’t know what plans people have for their leftovers. I’ve seen people daisy chain food out the door of an event. It is not that serious folks.

5. WHINERS! So what this post is whiny, but damn I hate whiners. My whine tolerance has been very low lately. Just shut the fawk up and fix the problem (whatever it is) already.

6. BEGGARS! My son is the biggest offender right now. Damn, leave me and my money alone!

7. OLD JEWISH LADIES! I was at a deli counter today and it was some in back in my. OMG! How fawking annoying! I really hated those ladies. They were pushing, shoving, talking, trying to take cuts, etc. I had to swell up on them. I will slap an old lady…..LOL. J/K. Ok, I’m going to bed now…..LOL.

Labels: Me bytchin

Posted by Shawn :: 10:59 PM :: 2 Hollered

Holla At Yo Girl!

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007

This Hot Mess is 4 U!!!! **NSFW****

I can't believe I haven't made a post since March! My how time flies. I guess I'll have more time on my hands now since I have an empty nest. I'm not going to get into all that now. Let's just laugh ad have some fun....LOL!

Make Room For the Big GIRLLLSSSSS

I got much love for the big girls, being that I'm one myself. With that being said, we know that big girls are NOTORIOUS for being a straight hot shitty MESS! So let's roll this post.

This is my girl big bubbles, BB for short. She left me speechless!

Why, why, why!!!! Homegirl took the shake and go straight out of the bag and slid it on her head. Notice the massive pile of weave in the background. I will giver her credit for not being naked.

This one here is a Chubby Chaser dream. All she need is a can of peaches to go with that cottage cheese.

Who told Auntie Edna to be putting her picture on Myspace? She got her latchhook weave. platforms, and get down brown lipstick on. Somebody should have told her that those hands can't cover that dunlap.

I know their big ass don't want us to believe that their were getting down in that twin bed. They look like two Sumo wrestlers. Look at them touching at the belly. Nasty asses!

She looks like a whale caught in a net. At least she took the time to coordinate....LOL.

I'm sure hoping this was photoshopped. Moving on......

This shyt aint even funny. It made me regurgitate my dinner. Those are quite possibly the nastiest looking legs I've eve seen in my life. I guess we should just give thanks that she decided not to show her ass.

Let's move on!!!

Do you like male strippers? Well you might not anymore!

I would be pissed if I paid $5 to see his ass or her showed up at my shower dressed in half of a RV curtain.

Look at the women in the back. They are bored as hell. He needs to use that chain to hang himself!

I'm disturbed by the fact that he has no testicles.

He looks like Zorro dressed as a bridesmaid.

Enough of this fool!
Let's move on to the CHILDREN!

I love the children, I really do, but like big girls, they know how to bring the Tom Foolery!

Is there a school where the children go where they learn to make the gay face. I'm not even going to discuss the purple tracks. I'm just mad that his damn lips are ashy! How unfagalicious of him!

I would have thought this was a hoax picture if it was not for the arch eyebrows!Let's count the offenses. 1. finger waves and pin curls. 2. polka dot waves. 3. Paper thin mustache. 4Long sleeve shirt under jersey. Ok, I'm tired of looking at him.

This is all kinds of wrong. Lion cloth, bangles, and Chanel bag *sigh*.

He's actually not a bad looking guy. I had more pics, but I thought this was enough.

He gives me a headache. No self respecting queen would be caught dead in the scenario. No comment on those leopard panties.

Time to put the children to BED!

On to the the straight SKANKS!

I think I need some Valtrex just by looking at their nasty Wesson oil coated asses.

Give him his pants back.

Anyone got some penicillin? You know it's some live and active cultures growing there.

This boys and girls is what you call an old ho! Po thang, still sporting a coochie fro.

Old ho's just won't give it up. Somebody slap some Crisco on Autie ashy ass pronto!

I'm starting to wonder if Autie is an Uncle........

Still not itching? This one comes with BO, do a scratch and sniff if you don't believe me.

Ok, boys and girls, I need a drink. I can't stop scratching.

Dueces!

Labels: HAM

Posted by Shawn :: 8:49 PM :: 5 Hollered

Holla At Yo Girl!

---------------oOo---------------