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Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Rules of Engagement

Rules of Engagement

Let me say this before you read any further. I’m not a jealous wife and anybody who knows me know that, but don't get it twisted, I will GUT, not cut (I'm taking your insides out) a bytch about my man. With that being said, Ladies and Whores there are rules to follow when engaging contact with another woman’s man, especially if you’re friends with the woman. No one should have to tell you these rules because we are born with them, they are an instinct. There are exceptions to some of the rules, but so few I won’t even list too many of them because I don’t want to confuse anybody. The penalty for violating these rules could be as simples as getting an evil eye, being put on the “I'm watching that bytch list” or as severe as an eastside azz whooping. Since obviously there is one whore out there that doesn’t know. I must school her. Without further ado here they are:

  1. NEVER invite the man anywhere without letting the woman know you’re going to extend the invitation.

  2. NEVER ask the man to for a personal “favor” without asking the woman first.

  3. NEVER ask the man not to “tell” his woman. Unless your azz is planning her surprise party, let there be no secrets between you and another woman’s man.

  4. NEVER let him tell you a secret. Unless you’re helping him pick out a ring, there is no need for anything secretive to be shared between the two of you.

  5. NEVER visit a woman’s house when she’s not there. I don’t care how cool you and her man are, if you and the man don’t have the same blood running through your veins, don’t have your azz up in her house.

  6. NEVER put your hands on your girl’s man unless is a hello or goodbye hug. He doesn’t need your azz to fix his collar, button his shirt or pick lent out of his hair.

  7. NEVER drop it like it’s hot if he asks you to dance. You don’t need to pull out your stripper girl moves if he asks you to dance. He probably just asked you to dance because your azz was sitting there looking lonely.

  8. NEVER say anything negative about his woman to him. He doesn’t need you to tell him Brenda is getting fat. He sees her big azz everyday.

  9. NEVER walk around saying “Bob tried to talk to me first”. So fuggin what! Who’s with him now? You missed out and get over it.

  10. NEVER think your friend or acquaintance won’t get pissed if you break 1-9.

The penalty for all OFFENSES is doubled if the man is married.

Do you disagree with me or have a comment?

Posted by Shawn :: 6:07 PM :: 30 Hollered

Holla At Yo Girl!