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Sunday, April 16, 2006

Subject Ho-ology 101

Subject: Ho-ology 101.

(My Country Cuzin, Tecc Money sent this to me. Enjoy and pass it on.)

11. "The Undercover Ho" - This type of ho often goes unnoticed in the community, and can only be detected by a trained eye. She holds down a decent job during the day, but is secretly hoeing around with at least 5 different trifling men. Two of these men are married, and at least one of these men is dating her best friend.

10. "The Church Ho" - Her hair and nails is always done. This ho is in church every Sunday and carries a Bible with her at all times, but spends Tuesday through Saturday night of every week in a different club. She is sometimes mistaken for the Undercover Ho.

9. "High Class Ho" - (also known as the! "Glamour Ho") - This type of ho rocks Prada and Versace, and only dates players, ballers, and hot callers. She is most often the cause of some fight in a club ( i.e. Source Awards). She tries to act like she's got class but confuses regular English with Ebonics. She also has trouble with simple arithmetic.

8. "Old Ho" - The OLE Ho used to be tight "in her day," and thinks she still looks good for her age." She tries to wear all of the Soul Train fashions, thinking that she will blend in with the rest of the hunnies.
You can find her at any club on any given night, grinding on the dance floor during any song, with any man, of any age.

7. "Nasty Ho" - This ho has not exactly been blessed in the looks department, but is usually very popular with the men for her other talents. Most often, she has a "tight" body and be found working in a strip club.

6. "Sneaky Ho" - The sneaky ho cannot be trusted in anyone's home or with anyone's man! Money and other personal items "turn up missing" not long after she's gone. She is always "dipped" and can never remember where she's purchased the coveted item of clothing. The Sneaky Ho aspires to be Undercover Ho but has already made too many enemies by stealing.

5. "Bourgeois Ho" - This type of ho is educated and professional woman with many credits to her name, she dresses well and has a sophisticated circle of friends. These women are perfect, however these Ho's have multiple partners and sleep with married men like "Undercover Ho," perpetrate on Sunday like "Church Ho," get played by men just like "Stupid Ho," obsessed with name brands and status like "High Class Ho," and best of all...Bourgeois Ho looks down on all the other Ho's.

4. "Project Ho" - This Ho is living ghetto fabulous, squeezing money and trinkets out of her drug dealing "babies daddies." She likes to fight, and you will most often hear her before you see her.

3. "Stupid Ho" - ! ; She is usually very cute. The Stupid Ho keeps a string of men who constantly come over after midnight for booty calls. They often return to eat her food, watch her cable, and borrow her car and/or money. She complains about them to her friends ( i.e., Sneaky Ho and Project Ho) but never does anything about it.

2. "Crazy Ho" - This is a popular ho. Although she is very smart, the Crazy Ho is virtually an upgrade from the Stupid Ho. She has the same terrible luck with men, but unlike the Stupid Ho, she seeks revenge. Her areas of expertise include slashing tires, keying cars, making prank calls from unlisted numbers, visiting the trifling man (or other Ho's) jobs, and appearing on Judge Mathis for any of the aforementioned activities.

And Finally!!

1. "The Stank Ho" - > This is perhaps the most popular Ho of them all. She Stank Ho has appeared on shows such as Ricky Lake, Jerry Springer and Jenny Jones. She has eluded herself into believing that she is beautiful, ad she sleeps with everyone to justify it. Her choice of wardrobe most often includes spandex (of every color), bra tops, > and stripper shoes. She has a permanent "unwashed" look about her that cannot be removed with any amount of water or soap.

Posted by Shawn :: 11:20 PM :: 10 Hollered

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