Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Today

I've confined myself to be today to wallow in my own self-pity. I'll be having surgery in the next month or so to remove a benign tumor (dermoid tumor) from my ovary. I've known about the tumor for two years so it's not new news, today was the day that it became real to me. Today was the day that I saw it. I can't stop crying and feeling sorry for myself.

I went in for the ultrasound because during my yearly pap smear my GYN said that it's been two years and it's time to take care of it. I always considered it to be some little bitty peanut sized pimple on my ovary, but no it's the size of a plum. When I saw the Dr. measuring it I had to ask her was that millimeters or centimeters, it was centimeters.

Don't get me wrong I know I should count my blessings and I am. I'm thankful that it can be fixed and I'm thankful that once it's done it's done. I guess I'm more disappointed in myself. Last year I had a miscarriage and it could have been avoided, due to the dermoid the baby never had a chance. I should have had it removed as soon as I found out about it. It was careless of me to wait this long being that I had two aunts that passed away from reproductive cancer, one from ovarian and the other uterine.

Today I will wallow in self pity and cry, but tomorrow I will take action. Tomorrow I will start taking care of me.........
Posted by Shawn :: 5:48 PM :: 6 Hollered

Holla At Yo Girl!

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